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But what could he do? So Pancho Villa ate the poop.

But What Could I Do? So I Ate The Poop

But what could he do? So Pancho Villa ate the poop.A young man was in a bar sipping his tequila when he notices a picture of Pancho Villa on the wall behind the bar. Jokingly, the young man asks the old bartender, “Did you know Pancho Villa?”

“Did I know Pancho Villa?” Says the old bartender,  “Let me tell you a story my friend.  I was a young man tending to a herd of cattle when I saw far in the distance a great red cloud of sand and dust coming toward me from the desert.

As the cloud of dust got closer, I was very nervous it was bandits. I heard the sound of hoof beats and at last I saw a great white horse, and it was the great man himself, Pancho Villa riding straight at me!

He got close to me and I saw he had a large silver pistol with an ivory handle.  He drew the pistol and pointed it right at my head. I was very scared.  He laughed out loud said ‘Drop your pants.’

What could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me – so I dropped my pants.  Then he said ‘Squat.’  What could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me – so I squat down like he says.  Then he said –

‘Poop’

I did not have to poop, but what could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me. I was very scared, so I pooped.  Pancho Villa pointed his gun at me and with a deep laugh and sinister grin, said ‘Now eat that poop.’

‘Crap,’ I thought. It was disgusting, but what could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me, so I ate the poop.  Pancho Villa laughed for a very long time and laughed so hard he fell off his horse, and his silver pistol landed right next to me – so I picked it up and pointed it at Pancho Villa.

He stopped laughing very quickly and I said, ‘drop your pants.’  Oh, Pancho Villa was very scared – what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him!  So he dropped his pants.

I said ‘Squat’ and so Pancho Villa squatted, what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! Then I said ‘Poop’, and he dropped a big one!

I had a great bid shit eating grin and I said ‘Now, eat that poop.’  He was not happy, but what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! So Pancho Villa ate that poop!

And you asked me if I know Pancho Villa??

Yes my friend, I knew Pancho Villa, we had lunch together!”

everyone poops 410 pounds a year joke airplane conversation you don't know shit

Everybody Poops

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A stranger was seated next to me on the plane. Shortly after the plane took off the stranger turned to the me and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”I had just opened my book, so I closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “How about nuclear power?”

“OK,” I said, “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. “A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

“Jeez,” said the stranger. “I have no idea.”

“Well, then,” I replied, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

joke-two-statues-pigeon-revenge

What Would You Do?

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joke-two-statues-pigeon-revenge
For many years, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other on the steps in front of a large court house building. Late one night an Angel, in a somewhat mischievous mood, appeared between them and said, “You’ve been standing here for so long, staring right each other, I’m sure there are things you want to do. I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes in which you can do anything you want.” And with a snap of his fingers the angel brought the statues to life.

The two statues approached one another, each with a huge grin and dashed for the bushes. In a matter of moments there emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, with smiles from ear to ear.

“It’s only been fifteen minutes,” said the angel, winking at them, “You still have fifteen more.”

With an even bigger grin the female statue turned to the male statue and said, “Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on it’s head!”