An 8 year old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him “Grandpa what is couple sex?”
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to know to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and enjoys and responsibilities that go with it. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked, “why did you ask, Sweetie?
The little girl replied, “Well, grandma says to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.”
A mother is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date.
‘Mommy,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’
‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied. ‘It’s not polite.’
‘OK’, the little girl says, ‘How much do you weigh?’
‘Now really,’ the mother says, ‘Those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’
Undaunted, the little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’
‘That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’
Later while the girls are playing, ‘My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,’ the little girl says to her friend.
‘Well,’ says the friend, ‘all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card, it has everything you need to know on it.’
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, ‘I know how old you are. You are 32.’
The mother is surprised and asks, ‘How did you find that out?
‘I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.’
The mother is past surprised and shocked now. ‘How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?’
‘And,’ the little girl says triumphantly, ‘I know why you and daddy got a divorce.’
‘Oh really?’ the mother asks. ‘Why?’
‘Because you got an F in sex.’
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams! Now what should he do?
His mother advised: “Send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal!”
So that’s what he did. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she didn’t bring any groceries and she refused to cook!”