Tag Archives: Lunch

But what could he do? So Pancho Villa ate the poop.

But What Could I Do? So I Ate The Poop

But what could he do? So Pancho Villa ate the poop.A young man was in a bar sipping his tequila when he notices a picture of Pancho Villa on the wall behind the bar. Jokingly, the young man asks the old bartender, “Did you know Pancho Villa?”

“Did I know Pancho Villa?” Says the old bartender,  “Let me tell you a story my friend.  I was a young man tending to a herd of cattle when I saw far in the distance a great red cloud of sand and dust coming toward me from the desert.

As the cloud of dust got closer, I was very nervous it was bandits. I heard the sound of hoof beats and at last I saw a great white horse, and it was the great man himself, Pancho Villa riding straight at me!

He got close to me and I saw he had a large silver pistol with an ivory handle.  He drew the pistol and pointed it right at my head. I was very scared.  He laughed out loud said ‘Drop your pants.’

What could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me – so I dropped my pants.  Then he said ‘Squat.’  What could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me – so I squat down like he says.  Then he said –

‘Poop’

I did not have to poop, but what could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me. I was very scared, so I pooped.  Pancho Villa pointed his gun at me and with a deep laugh and sinister grin, said ‘Now eat that poop.’

‘Crap,’ I thought. It was disgusting, but what could I do?  He had his pistol pointed right at me, so I ate the poop.  Pancho Villa laughed for a very long time and laughed so hard he fell off his horse, and his silver pistol landed right next to me – so I picked it up and pointed it at Pancho Villa.

He stopped laughing very quickly and I said, ‘drop your pants.’  Oh, Pancho Villa was very scared – what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him!  So he dropped his pants.

I said ‘Squat’ and so Pancho Villa squatted, what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! Then I said ‘Poop’, and he dropped a big one!

I had a great bid shit eating grin and I said ‘Now, eat that poop.’  He was not happy, but what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! So Pancho Villa ate that poop!

And you asked me if I know Pancho Villa??

Yes my friend, I knew Pancho Villa, we had lunch together!”

Old but Shockingly Funny

An older couple was out for a Sunday drive and they decided to go to the town where they had first met.

After they had eaten a wonderful lunch at a nice little dinner bordering an open field, the husband says to his wife “Hey, do you remember that long fence at the other side of the filed?” His wife goes “Why, yes Marvin, of course! That’s where we first made love on a warm spring afternoon.” Marvin gets a sly smile on his face and says to his wife,  “Well, how about we go relive that again, eh?”.

His wife, with a big grin agrees. The young man that was serving them over hears the whole thing, and seeing an opportunity for a YouTube video follows them out.

The old couple gets to the fence, get naked and then start rocking and bucking like they’re 16 years old! The young guy watches the whole thing is disbelief until they finally collapse off the fence, sweaty and breathing hard. Startling the old couple the young man speaks up and asks them in amazement ” Wow! How the did two old-timers like you keep that much stamina?!”. The old man, who is still kinda dazed, stands up and says “Well lets put it this way kid, 60 years ago, the damn fence wasn’t electrified!”

Your Position Matters

There were three pregnant friends having lunch and discussing their recent pre-natal exams. The first woman says, “The doctor asked me, in what position was the baby conceived?”

“He was on top “, I replied.
“You will have a boy!” The doctor exclaimed.

“The doctor asked me the same question,” the second woman says.

“I was on top,” I said.
“You will have a baby girl!” Said the doctor.

With this the third women, a blonde, burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” asked the her friends.

“Am I going to have puppies?”