One afternoon an old man sitting was sitting on a park bench alone, crying, when along came a police officer.
The officer stopped and with genuine concern asks the old man why he was so upset.
The sad old man replied, “Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love. Then we make passionate love in bed. Afterwards, she gives me a bath where she pas attention to every detail. She then cooks me lunch, followed by more passionate love. In the evening, we finish off the day with a fantastic dinner and yet more wonderful love.”
The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and says, “Well that sounds amazing, what seems to be the problem?”
The old man replied with frustration and defeat, “I can’t remember where I live!”
A man in his 40’s bought a new sports car and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch me in this car,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 mph…. then the reality of the situation hit him. “What the heck am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and my wife has dinner almost ready. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.” The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”
A young woman was pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, and asked for her license and registration. As she handed the trooper the paperwork she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper’s Ball, aren’t you?”
He looked at the woman and said, ” Ma’am, State Troopers don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence, he closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.