Tag Archives: school

Sunday School Slumber

April was not the best Sunday school student. She usually she slept through class, having partied the night before.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”

When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good”. April fell back asleep in under a minute.

A while later the teacher again asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” Again, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back asleep.

Later on, the teacher asked April a third question, “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted,


Once You Go Rear, It’s Hard To Go Gear

A Proctologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So he found out from his local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all that he could.

As the practical exam approached, he prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a mark of 150%!

Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting.”

The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler…”

life saver candy asshole joke

You never know what flavor your going to get!

One morning Ms. Fox was teaching her second grade class about flavor and color associations. To do this she was giving the students Lifesaver Candy. She gave all the kids the red ones, “Cherry” they all shouted. Then yellow ones, “Lemon” they said. And green ones, “Lime!”

Finally she gave them clear, honey flavored Lifesavers, but none of the students could guess. “I’ll give you a hint,” Ms. Fox said. “They are what your Mom might sometimes call your Dad.”

One little girl spits hers on the floor and says,

“Ewww, they’re assholes!”

black sheets bed set for sunday school joke about mom going to heaven

She almost went to heaven

One morning in Sunday School the teacher was talking about heaven and asked the class if any of them knew anyone that has gone to heaven.

Billy raises his hand and says, “My Grandma went to heaven.” “Very good Billy” the teacher responds.

Suzy speaks up and says, “My dog just went to heaven, I miss him very much but I know he’s in a better place now.” the Sunday school teacher says, “Thanks Suzy for sharing. Anyone else?”

Little johnny raises his hand way up high. “Johnny?” the teacher asks. “The other day, my mom almost went to heaven.” Johnny says. “Ohh my, what do you mean Johnny?”

“Well, I woke up in the middle of the night to go get a drink of water. As I walked past my parents room I saw my mom in bed on her back, with her legs in the air and my dad was holding her down with all his might as she said over and over again, ‘Oh GOD I’m coming! Oh GOD I’m coming!'”

black sheets bed set for sunday school joke about mom going to heaven