Tag Archives: Ice Cream

What are you in for?



Two little boys, Billy and Tommy, were sitting in the hospital waiting room anxious about what was about to happen. As they were talking nervously to each other, Billy eventually asked, “Hey Tommy, what’re you in here for?”

“I’m getting my tonsils out today, I’m a little worried,” said Tommy.

“Oh that’s no big deal. I had my tonsils out last year and it was a great! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!”

“Oh yeah?” replied Tommy. “That doesn’t sound so bad. What are you here for Billy?”

“I’m getting a circumcision, whatever that is,” Billy answered.

“Oh my GOD, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn’t walk for almost two years!”

Old People Jokes Forgot the Whipped Cream

An 80 year old couple was having problems remembering things and finally the wife says, “We’re getting to be the butt of Old People Jokes, maybe we should get a check up.” So they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, he tells them that they were physically okay, but, the doctor jokes, “You might want to start writing things down and make notes to help remember things.”

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?” He replied, “To the kitchen.” She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” He replied, “Sure.” She then asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” He said, “No, I can remember that.”

She then said, “Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you’ll forget that.” He said, “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” She replied, “Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.”

With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down! I can remember that.” He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: “I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!”

Lets play Mommy and Daddy

A mother found her son, Little Johnny, scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : “Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play.”

Son : “But mom, there’s no one to play with.”

Mom : “I’ll play with you, what do you wanna play?”

Son : “Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed.”

The mom agreed and went upstairs. The son put on his dad’s fishing hat and lit up one of his dad’s cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : “Now what do I do?”

Son : “Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some damn ice cream.”