Two little boys, Billy and Tommy, were sitting in the hospital waiting room anxious about what was about to happen. As they were talking nervously to each other, Billy eventually asked, “Hey Tommy, what’re you in here for?”
“I’m getting my tonsils out today, I’m a little worried,” said Tommy.
“Oh that’s no big deal. I had my tonsils out last year and it was a great! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!”
“Oh yeah?” replied Tommy. “That doesn’t sound so bad. What are you here for Billy?”
“I’m getting a circumcision, whatever that is,” Billy answered.
“Oh my GOD, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn’t walk for almost two years!”
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. “Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!” Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.
He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”