Tag Archives: texas

us recovery agent badge for a joke about an enforcement officer being chased by a bull.

don’t go in that field

A US special agent pulled up to a ranch house in Texas and talked with an older rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to search your ranch for an escaped fugitive we believe to be in the area.” The rancher said, “Okay no problem, but don’t go in that field over there…..”, as he pointed out the field.
The agent verbally exploded saying, “Sir, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his coat pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear……do you understand ?!!”
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores as the agent headed straight out to the field. A short time later, the rancher heard a loud scream coming from the direction of the field. He looked up and saw the agent running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Texan Bull… With every step the bull was gaining ground on the agent, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..

“Your badge, show him your f*****g BADGE…….. ! !”

us recovery agent badge for a joke about an enforcement officer being chased by a bull.

What Happened in Texas?

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. “Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!” Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”