Tag Archives: Son

handmade amish doll joke about a magic elevator

The Magic Elevator

Being Amish my son and I were visiting a mall for the first time. We were amazed by almost everything we saw, but especially by two shiny, silver doors that moved apart and back together again.

My son asked, “What is this, Father?” and having never been to a mall myself, I responded “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”

We stood watching in amazement, watching wide-eyed. Just then an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving doors and pressed a button. The doors opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room and the doors closed behind her. My son and I watched as small numbered circles lit up above the doors. 1-2-3-2-1

The doors opened up again and a beautiful young woman stepped out. Immediately I said, “That’s incredible! Quick son, go get your mother!”

Lets play Mommy and Daddy

A mother found her son, Little Johnny, scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : “Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play.”

Son : “But mom, there’s no one to play with.”

Mom : “I’ll play with you, what do you wanna play?”

Son : “Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed.”

The mom agreed and went upstairs. The son put on his dad’s fishing hat and lit up one of his dad’s cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : “Now what do I do?”

Son : “Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some damn ice cream.”

train-station-two-hour-delay-joke

Sorry for the Two Hour Delay

A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell “All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving”. The mother went in and told her son, “we don’t use that kind of language in this house.” Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don’t want to hear any bad language.

Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today”.

“For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

Two Hour Delay Joke Milan Train Station at Midnight by Stuck in Customs, on Flickr

Milan Train Station at Midnight by Stuck in Customs, on Flickr