A young man was in a bar sipping his tequila when he notices a picture of Pancho Villa on the wall behind the bar. Jokingly, the young man asks the old bartender, “Did you know Pancho Villa?”
“Did I know Pancho Villa?” Says the old bartender, “Let me tell you a story my friend. I was a young man tending to a herd of cattle when I saw far in the distance a great red cloud of sand and dust coming toward me from the desert.
As the cloud of dust got closer, I was very nervous it was bandits. I heard the sound of hoof beats and at last I saw a great white horse, and it was the great man himself, Pancho Villa riding straight at me!
He got close to me and I saw he had a large silver pistol with an ivory handle. He drew the pistol and pointed it right at my head. I was very scared. He laughed out loud said ‘Drop your pants.’
What could I do? He had his pistol pointed right at me – so I dropped my pants. Then he said ‘Squat.’ What could I do? He had his pistol pointed right at me – so I squat down like he says. Then he said –
I did not have to poop, but what could I do? He had his pistol pointed right at me. I was very scared, so I pooped. Pancho Villa pointed his gun at me and with a deep laugh and sinister grin, said ‘Now eat that poop.’
‘Crap,’ I thought. It was disgusting, but what could I do? He had his pistol pointed right at me, so I ate the poop. Pancho Villa laughed for a very long time and laughed so hard he fell off his horse, and his silver pistol landed right next to me – so I picked it up and pointed it at Pancho Villa.
He stopped laughing very quickly and I said, ‘drop your pants.’ Oh, Pancho Villa was very scared – what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! So he dropped his pants.
I said ‘Squat’ and so Pancho Villa squatted, what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! Then I said ‘Poop’, and he dropped a big one!
I had a great bid shit eating grin and I said ‘Now, eat that poop.’ He was not happy, but what could he do? I had his pistol pointed right at him! So Pancho Villa ate that poop!
And you asked me if I know Pancho Villa??
Yes my friend, I knew Pancho Villa, we had lunch together!”