A real woman
is a man’s best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort
him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never though he could, to live without fear and regret
.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions
and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room.
She will enable him to be the most confidant, sexy, seductive, and invincible…
No wait… Sorry… I’m thinking of beer
… That’s what beer does.
.”
with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine!”
, I thought I would lay down some rules.
, fishing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want.
…”
and starts packing also. A bit angry the wife asks, “What the heck do you think you are doing!?” The husband replies, “I want to see how your going to live in 
on $1000 a year!”
. The trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, and asked for her license and registration. As she handed the trooper the paperwork she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper’s Ball, aren’t you?”
, got back in his patrol car and left.
late one night. Near the end of the night one guy turns to the other and with an exasperated tone says, “You know man, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after I’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off outside, ease the door shut, and tip toe up stairs. I get undressed in the bathroom and 
into bed with the stealth of a ninja. Every time my wife wakes up throwing the covers, 
, and yells at me for staying out so late with my ‘idiot’ friends!”His buddy looks at him with a smirk and says, “Ahhh man, this is how I do it: I screech into the driveway, rev the car once in the garage, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my cold hands on my wife’s ass and say, ‘Hey good lookin’, how about a blowjob?’She’s 
every time!”