Tag Archives: marriage

Doctors Orders

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the
course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and gave here a long passionate kiss.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday’s, I fish!”

Honeymoon couple on the beach drawing a sunscreen heart for marriage rules joke

These are my rules

Honeymoon couple on the beach drawing a sunscreen heart for marriage rules joke

My wife and I were married and following the honeymoon, I thought I would lay down some rules.
– I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want.
– I don’t expect any hassle from you.
– I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise.
– I’ll go drinking, hunting, fishing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want.

Those are my rules,” I said. “Any comments?”

My new bride replied, “No, that’s fine with me. But, just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night… whether you’re here or not.”