A seaman meets a peg-leg pirate with a hook hand and an eye patch in a bar. Over several glasses of rum they take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.
Eventually the seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”
The pirate replies “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off.”
“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about your hook?”
“Well…” replied the pirate, “While my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft in the middle east is the loss of the hand that steals”
“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eyepatch?”
“A sea gull dropping fell into my eye.” said the pirate sadly.
“You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.
“Well…” said the pirate, “…it was my first day with the hook…”