Gotta love punny golf jokes!
I Got a Hole in One of My Golf Jokes!
Leave a reply
Tag Archives: Kid Jokes
Need a change of scenery?
Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive.
Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” said the beaming boy to his old man.
“Nope,” came dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years.”
Lets play Mommy and Daddy
A mother found her son, Little Johnny, scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.
Mom : “Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play.”
Son : “But mom, there’s no one to play with.”
Mom : “I’ll play with you, what do you wanna play?”
Son : “Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed.”
The mom agreed and went upstairs. The son put on his dad’s fishing hat and lit up one of his dad’s cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : “Now what do I do?”
Son : “Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some damn ice cream.”
Sorry for the Two Hour Delay
A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell “All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving”. The mother went in and told her son, “we don’t use that kind of language in this house.” Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don’t want to hear any bad language.
Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today”.
“For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
Milan Train Station at Midnight by Stuck in Customs, on Flickr
How do Native American boys get their names?
One day a young Native American boy is helping his father make arrows. The boy seems deep in thought when he looks up and asks slowly, “Dad… where do children get their names?”
His father replies, “Well son, when the baby is born the father goes outside of the teepee for inspiration to name his child. Usually the first thing the father sees is what the baby is named after. Your brother is Soaring Eagle because that is what I noticed first. And your sister is Dancing Fawn, You see?”
“Why do you ask, Two Dogs F^#king?”