John and Sally are in the store when Sally calls to John and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a neat jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
He asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The Sally says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a sweet tiger.”
John studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling the tiger on that box.”
“Second,” John sighs, “lets put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy explained that he would have to ask the manager and so he walked into the back room and said, “There is some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half.” The manager okays the request and the man went on his way.
Later on the manager said to the boy, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?” The boy replied, “Minnesota, sir.” “Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota?” inquired the manager. The boy replied, “They’re all just whores and hockey players up there.” “My wife is from Minnesota”, exclaimed the manager.
The boy instantly replied, “Really! What team did she play for?”