Tag Archives: dumb

Prove You’re Smart – Paint a Bedroom

A blonde woman decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to prove that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint their bedroom.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive odor of paint. He walks into the bedroom and finds his wife lying on the floor dripping sweat. She is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. Yes, She replies. He asks what she is doing. She says that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the bedroom. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. Well, she starts, I was reading the directions on the paint can and they said:

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

amazon package golf tees joke about Cadillac

Where do you put your balls?

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A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from Florida to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a station and pulls over to the high octane pump.

“What can I do for y’all?” asks the attendant. “Fill `er up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the car up and down. “What kinda car is this?” he asks. “I never seen one like it before.” “Well,” responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, “this, my boy is a 2009 Cadillac CTS-V.”

“What all’s it got in it?” asks the attendant. “Well,” says the driver, “it has everything. It’s loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, 10 deck CD Player with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine!”

“Wow,” says the attendant, “that’s really something!” “How much do I owe you for the gasoline?” asks the driver. “That’ll be $70.17,” says the attendant.

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off three $20’s and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees. “What are those little wooden things?” asks the attendant. “Those are what I put my balls on when I drive,” says the driver. “Wow,” says the attendant, “those Cadillac people think of everything!”