A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only”. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, “Do you know that you were speeding?” The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know I was speeding.” The mans wife then yells, “Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I’ve been telling you to slow down for miles.” “SHUT UP!” the man says to his wife, “Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite.” Then the cop says, “well, since I’ve got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?” “No Sir” the man replies, “I did not know that” “WHATEVER!” His wife yells, “I’ve been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!” “Shut up” the man yells to his wife again! “Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!” Curios, the cop walks over to the woman’s side of the car and asks her, “Does he always talk to you this way?” “No” she replies, ” Only when he’s drinking!”